Read Reflection 1 {Showing My Children Jesus} here.

Read Reflection 2 {Stress} here.

Read Reflection 3 {Words} here.

Reflection 4 {Looking Ahead}

Note: you really should read Reflection 3 {Words} before reading this post. The whole series linked above was written to lead into this post. The one most relative to this post, though, was the third reflection. Go on, read. I’ll wait.

Blogging is an egotistical undertaking. I sit here writing about my thoughts, my life, my family, my faith, my church, my God. What God has done for me. What others have done for me. Everything is through my lens, from my point of view. Then, to assume that people want to read all about me? Yup. Egotistical. In Reflection 2, I used the words “I”, “me”, and “my” 46 times in 53 sentences. Yowza.

I know that relating personal stories is part of blogging. It’s part of encouraging others and helping to put a smile on their face. Doesn’t it make you feel better when you’re having a bad day to read a really embarrassing story about someone else? Isn’t it encouraging when you’re facing pain and read a story of how someone else triumphed over a similar situation? Other’s stories have encouraged me on many a day. I hope to have helped you out some along the way – to put a smile in your heart and a spring in your step.

As I went through last month, though, there was one thought that kept coming back to me: More of HIM and less of me. One more time: More of HIM and less of me. As I prayed over whether to continue writing, this phrase permeated my thoughts. As I went through the day, celebrating the Christ child with my own children, this phrase pierced my soul. Even as I’ve written these reflections, I’ve had this phrase at the tip of my fingertips. This week has been all about me, and for good reason. I’ve been leading up to this moment – the moment when I turn it all over to the One who gave me words to begin with.

As we enter a new year, I want to make my writing more about Him and less about me. Yes, I will still use personal stories, but I want them to reflect HIM and not me. It’s not about how I triumphed over whatever situation because of God’s goodness. It’s how God’s goodness triumphed over my situation. There’s a subtle difference there, but an important one which makes all the difference. Do you see it? The first one shows how God glorified me. The second, how God is glorified through me.  I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be a part of the second group.

So…where am I going from here? I have a second blog that I started when I started making baby blankets for displaced children. I haven’t written much about the blankets, mainly because I haven’t done as much with the blankets as I would have liked. I have posted over there periodically – always about faith! – and want to keep it alive. One Stitch, Much Love is where I will be doing most of my writing from now on. I will still keep this blog going for family updates and pictures of the kiddos, but not much else. 

Add  http://onestitchmuchlove.wordpress.com to your bookmarks. I have a subscribe button on the site, so you can easily add it to your rss reader. Thanks for following me on this fantastic journey! I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me in 2011! I know it’s something special. I was reminded of Jeremiah while writing Reflection 3 {Words} and took some time to read about him. This promise leapt off the page and into my heart:

“Alas, Sovereign LORD,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.” But the LORD said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the LORD. Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “I have put my words in your mouth. “ – Jeremiah 1: 6-9

I know that God has given me words. Will you pray with me that I can share His words in a way that brings glory to Him? That is my prayer for the new year. My one word phrase. More of HIM and less of me.

Um.

“Did you change the thermostat? It feels really warm in here.” “No, I didn’t. I never touch it. But you’re right. It is hot in here.” “Let me go check it.”

Thermostat is fine – set on 75 like always. Yet the temperature at that time is 84.

Um.

Turn on the fans, pull my hair up, shorts and a tank. Sweat like crazy ‘cause it’s only getting hotter. Whine, moan, complain. Can’t sleep because I’m so hot. Go downstairs and try to sleep on the couch. Get in a few hours of not-very-good sleep. Get up and going the next morning with a raging headache from lack of sleep and the heat & humidity feeling like it’s suffocating me.

Try to find the phone number for the guy who came out last time to check out the A/C. Find six different numbers – don’t know which number to trust. Instinct tells me to call someone else. Find another company with good online reviews and one phone number. Call. This company just happens to be the one that installed the A/C, has all the info on the system, AND says that part of it is still under warranty. They come within two hours of my calling.

Turns out there is no warranty on the condenser, which needed repair. That’s ok; I was expecting to pay for the repair anyway. Repairman has parts with him and fixes the unit. Out comes my credit card and in about 24 hours, my A/C is fixed, I’m cooling off and happy again.

Then. Then I realize how incredibly spoiled I am. That’s right. I’m crazy spoiled.

spoil – verb

3.  to impair, damage, or harm the character or nature of (someone) by unwise treatment, excessive indulgence, etc.: to spoil a child by pampering him.

I whined and complained about not having a cool house for 24 hours. Twenty-four-freakin-hours. And it wasn’t even that hot. Uncomfortable, yes. But the house only got up to 90 degrees at the most. Some people, even here in Texas, the home of 100 degree+ heat, don’t have A/C at all. Their houses get up above 90 all the time. Some live without because they can’t afford it. I didn’t have enough in my bank account to cover the repair, but I did have a credit card and it’ll be paid for in a couple month’s time. That would be disastrous for some. For me? An inconvenience. I went 24 hours without A/C. Whoop-de-do.

I have a nice house, plenty of food to eat, nice clothes to wear. We can afford for our kids to play sports and have new toys for birthdays and Christmas and sometimes for just because. There are so many who don’t.

And I’m upset over not being comfortable for a few hours?

I need a change in perspective. And I think I got it. I’m praising God for the broken A/C. Because I don’t want to be crazy spoiled; I want to be blessed.

blessed – adjective

3.  divinely or supremely favored; fortunate: to be blessed with a strong, healthy body; blessed with an ability to find friends.

6.  bringing happiness and thankfulness: the blessed assurance of a steady income.

(definitions courtesy of dictionary.com)

How about you? To me, the difference between being spoiled and blessed is the attitude behind it. Spoiled = a sense of entitlement; blessed = a spirit of thankfulness. Are you crazy spoiled, or are you blessed?

these dirty shoes sit in my kitchen.
they have seen quite a bit.

mud
dirt
grass
chalk.

they are used
abused
well-worn
and well-loved

is your life full of dirt?
do you need someone to pick you up?
brush the dirt off?
tell you that even though you have been

used
abused
well-worn

you

are well-loved?

Guess what? Someone already has.

His name is Jesus.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

Isn’t that how satan works? He keeps us so busy we don’t have time for God.

I feel that this spring has been spring in my spiritual life. I’ve spent time over the past few months reading a few blogs in particular and have had the same words whispered into my soul.

“I created you, Rachel. I love you. Watch the flowers bloom. Watch the dreariness of winter give way to glorious sunshine. I created this beauty for you. I created it so you can remember that I am with you. I am whispering love in your ear. Relax, I am in control, even when you’re not. Especially when you’re not.“

But in the midst of this soul-refreshement, and basking in knowing God’s love, there has been the nagging: I know God wants me to make blankets, but I just haven’t done it. I have the fabric, I have the thread. I see it every day. All I need to do is sit down and start sewing. This spring, for every two blog posts in which I’ve breathed in God’s wonderful refreshment, there’s a post encouraging me to step out in faith and do the thing God wants me to do.

I read this post. And this one. And this one. And many others along the same lines. Last week, Bonnie Gray, at Faith Barista, posted a challenge. The what-if challenge. Basically, every story is created by what-ifs. An author can’t continue the story until the what-ifs are answered. What if the character falls in love? What if she had a child? What if she quit her job? 

We all have what-ifs in the story of our lives. What if I did _____? She asked us readers to write 5 what-if questions and then step out in faith and act on one of those questions. See what happens and report back.

As I read, only one question came to mind: What if I succeed?

There is only one way to answer that question: Go. Do. Act. See what happens.

That afternoon, I knew I would be watching baseball (both Rangers and Astros had day games). So I got out my sewing things and started cutting fabric at the coffee table. I got several pieces cut and then needed a drink. I got a drink and a snack. I realized that it was time for the older boys to be home from school, so I met them outside and we discussed plans for the afternoon. I walked back toward the living room to see Miguel (my 3 year old) covered in blood. Both of his hands and his entire shirt were covered.

Major freak out moment. My first thought, “Please tell me I don’t have to go to the ER again?”

Miguel found my rotary cutter and figured out how to get the safety cover off. He sliced his fingertip – it was deep, but a clean cut. I had to bandage him, clean his shirt, clean the couch cushions, feed the kids snacks, plus get them ready for afternoon activities. The thing is, I didn’t freak out like I could have. I got in there, cleaned things up, and moved on.

Oh, and the fabric? No blood. It was everywhere else, but not on the fabric. Coincidence? I think not.

I realized later that my calmness came from one thing: that I was doing what God wanted me to do. Obstacles get in the way, but I can deal with them peacefully and effectively if I’m doing what God wants me to do. I was at peace, I was happy, no, joyful!, that afternoon, even though I only spent a few hours cutting fabric.

As I was scrubbing Miguel’s shirt, one verse came into mind, and put a smile on my face:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds. (James 1:2)

I stepped out in faith, and first thing, obstacles were thrown in my face. I’m happy about that and look forward to the next obstacle. Today, it’s laundry, tomorrow, who knows? As long as I get one piece of a blanket done every day, I’m heading in the right direction.

And I can’t wait to see where I end up.

Ok, ok. I admit it. It’s not a borderline obsession. It’s a full-blown start-a-book-and-HAVE-to-finish-it-as-soon-as-I-can kind of obsession.

This post was to be about something different, but as I wrote the above, I got to thinking. Dangerous, I know.

Why am I not obsessed like that when I read the Bible?

Why do I read the Bible and forget what I just read? When I read other books, I replay particular scenes in my mind for weeks afterwards. I break down certain themes and anaylze them, find their connections to the rest of the story. With the Bible, I think, “Oh, that was interesting.” and then go on with life.

Although, I did randomly open my Bible last week and discovered that mold remediation has not changed much since Old Testament times – the main difference is that a priest is overseeing the process instead of a contractor. Oh, and the whole purifying the house with the blood of a dead bird. That doesn’t happen anymore. Leviticus 14. Good Stuff. Seriously. The point is, I do remember some things from the Bible.

But I digress. I say I love the Lord, and I say I want to follow Him wholeheartedly. That’s part of why this particular blog was started. To share about DOING, ACTING on what God is leading me to do.

Ok, I just discovered the answer. The obsession with reading the Bible will come. I just have to read it first.

Really, truly read.

Not skim, but pay attention to what is there. I can’t obsess over other books if they just sit on the shelf. The same is true for the Bible.

Dear God,

Help me to fall in love with the Bible. To really love it, to want it, to obsess over it. Help me to keep focused on You, and what You want me to learn. Help me to not only learn, but to live what I learn.

Love,

Rachel

I still don’t know where to give them. I know there is a homeless shelter that the local radio does a lot with. I may start there, since it is still winter and we are expecting more icy cold weather soon. Will you be in prayer for me that I will find the right people to give these blankets to? My heart is still with foster kids, but homeless kids have just as much need for warmth and security.

I’m thrilled that I’m seeing my dream start to come true. I can only pray that I can see God’s direction in this project, and that children can come to know His everlasting love from it.

That said, I think this Christmas was the best I’ve ever had. I had my whole family here – mom, brother & his wife, older sister & her hubby and three daughters, and my younger sister. My aunt also stopped by a few days. It was a wonderful time of family fun. We didn’t do much. Well, there was a lot of cribbage, rummy, wii, monopoly, war, puzzles, books. There was shopping and juggling of who would watch which kids so x person could go out. There was a lot of talking about a lot of different subjects. There was a fantastic time on Christmas Eve when we discussed the birth of Jesus and what it means for us. “For unto us a Savior is given…”

I think the best part for me was the joy in the children’s eyes. The anticipation of Christmas morning, the excitement of seeing what was given to them. That’s what Christmas is – the anticipation of the birth of Jesus and the overflowing joy stemming from that special, special day. I experienced that joy. I saw it in my children’s eyes. I saw it in my nieces’ eyes. I felt the comfort of family, and the comfort in knowing that I have an abundant life because of the birth of one baby over 2,000 years ago.

I was given a gift Christmas morning. A gift of peace, of hope, of joy.

That is what made this past Christmas the best ever.

How will I be remembered?

I hope to be known as the blanket lady. It’s been a long time coming, but I honestly believe that this year is the year. My first attempt at making blankets was for a blanket drive at my church. The blankets were being sent to a sister church in Mexico. They were asking for bed-sized blankets, but my first thought was the babies. Babies in Mexico need blankets, too! I made five blankets, but only two were good enough to send on. I since perfected my design and like to make blankets for friends that have had babies.

I have had a heart for displaced children for a long time. The newspaper runs a feature in which they highlight children that need adoptive fmailies. I’ve always wanted to take those kiddos in my arms and make their hurt go away. I’ve never been in a position to do so, but I’ve wanted to.

In addition, one of my good friends is a foster parent, two others are adoptive parents, one of which also works with CPS (Child Protective Services). My foster parent friend got a 2 week old baby. When children are taken from their homes, they sometimes have a chance to grab a change of clothes and a toothbrush. Not always. So I made a baby blanket. My friend was almost in tears over the fact that I would do that for her. Now, she is not the type to cry at the drop of a hat. The only time I’ve ever seen her tear up was when I gave her the blanket. I knew then that I wanted to continue doing this for others.

I haven’t been able to do much since then, mainly due to lack of resources (as in, buying fabric), my husband’s job change and a move, health issues, and the day-to-day of taking care of three kids.

Over the past couple of months, I’ve seen that I’m being led to create a ministry of some sort. I’m not sure where it all is leading, but I’m listening, praying, and following God’s lead.

All I know is that now is the time and 2010 is the year.